In an Ancient Greek myth, Icarus attempted to escape from Crete with wings that his father made from feathers and wax. However, he flew too close to the sun, causing his wings to melt and his vehicle to crash into the sea. You could say that I also flew too close to the sun last night after drinking two beers alone in my home, when I decided to record myself singing – you know, just to check.
We all want to know what our singing voices sound like, but I was foolish enough to make the mistake of actually finding out.
Last night I chose to record myself singing “Ocean Eyes” by Billie Eillish, and I’m still not sure why. I guess it just seemed like the song you should record yourself singing. But I wasn’t prepared for the overpowering embarrassment I’d face when I heard the recording back.
No one should have to hear what they sound like in such a vulnerable moment, especially when their singing voice is really, really bad.
Now, I’m afraid to go to karaoke night with my friends. I’m too embarrassed to sing in the shower. I don’t even hum any little tunes to myself anymore. Recording myself singing just to see if I can has officially ruined my life.
In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have checked.
Ignorance is bliss, which is why I now envy those who have never recorded themselves singing, and I hope this can be a cautionary tale for anyone who’s still considering it.
After telling my friends about what happened to me, they often tell me things like, “You should still come out to karaoke though!” or “Who cares!” or “What made you choose ‘Ocean Eyes’?” And all I can really do to respond is shake my head. They simply don’t know what I’m going through, and hopefully they never will.
I wonder if I’ll ever be the same after this horrible, traumatic experience. Probably not! But now I have a lot more respect for people who sing professionally and listen to themselves all the time. Actually, I fear them!