Life is all about making mistakes and gaining experience by living through these blunders. Maybe you chose the wrong item on the menu and now you know you hate enoki mushrooms, maybe you swore in front of your baby cousin and now there’s a five-year-old out there who can’t stop saying “motherfucker.” Or maybe you’re like me, and in a moment of weakness after a day of talking to no one besides the Trader Joe’s employee bagging your groceries, decided to hit up some friends for drinks on Friday and now have plans looming over you like a dark cloud on a clear day.
What the actual fuck was I thinking?
Perhaps it was the endorphin-induced high from eating TJ’s chocolate covered pretzels on the way home that made me feel invincible, or perhaps the pleasant exchange I had with my cashier about the best time to buy apricots was enough to make me miss small talk. All I know is that for a few fleeting seconds, I felt like life was beautiful and all I wanted to do was share it with people I love.
How naive I was.
That feeling immediately crashed and as soon as I finished my bag of pretzels, I regretted the moment I pulled out my phone and sent those dreaded six words: “Hey wanna do something this weekend?”
Using a precious Friday night usually reserved for getting high and watching Love Island in the comfort of my own room on a night out where I would have to get dressed and sit in dim lighting and pay way too much money on alcohol just because the word “craft” is in front of it? Talking for not one, but multiple hours? Who did I think I was, Oprah?
Friday morning came and I wanted to break these feeble plans I made – fake an illness, kill off an extended family member, anything to get me out of my sentenced socializing. But when someone in the group chat texted: “Excited to see everyone tonight!!!” I realized it was a sentence of my own making, and I had to follow through.
When we make our bed, we must lie in it, and that’s what I did. Did I have a perfectly adequate time hanging out with my friends? Yes. Will I make that mistake again? No. Now I know when I’m feeling delusionally social, to keep my phone away and stick to making plans like I stick to my period: once a month at most.