Tower fans are one of the most economical options for air conditioning, but if you have one in your bedroom, you probably know how terrifying they can be in the middle of the night. I personally always felt silly for mistaking my tower fan for a murderer for years – but then it tried to kill me.
I’ve never been the same ever since.
I got out of bed to get a glass of water one night, and when I came back I jumped because I thought there was a murderer in my room (as usual), but it was just my tower fan (again). I took a sip of water and got back into bed. That’s when my tower fan fell on top of me and hit me in the head – hard. With a rock. How did it get a rock?
There’s no way to put it lightly – my tower fan tried to kill me, and I still live in waking fear of it every single day.
After the incident, I was rushed to the hospital and my doctor asked me what happened, but she didn’t even believe me when I said that my tower fan had planned to murder me for years now and almost finally got the chance to.
According to the doctor, “accidents happen all the time” and “lots of people end up in accidents that involve household things falling on them and injuring them very badly,” but what she failed to see is that there’s a murderer on the loose, and it’s living inside my house.
Yes, I was afraid to put it outside in fear that it would attack others, so it’s been locked in my basement ever since. My bedroom has been very hot.
All I want is for everyone out there with a tower fan to know: Don’t get too comfortable.
While tower fans may be great for keeping your room cool during the night, you should never, ever trust one, and you should always keep it far away from you. You never know what it might be up to, or how well it can escape from a series of locks and chains in your laundry room.
Sure, it was the best fan I’ve ever had, but now I sleep with a gun under my pillow. You just never know what could happen with the dehumidifier.