Cultivating a personal style can take years of hard work. At this point of my life, I’ve realized that I feel most at home in the clothes that bring me joy, so I choose to wear black every day because that’s what I feel most comfortable in. However, I’ve found that people interpret my clothes to mean that I’m goth, when that is totally not the case. I wear all black because it’s the best color to hide all the stains from constantly spilling food on myself.
I never thought that people would place an entire identity onto me because of the color I wear, but that’s exactly what happened. Goths regularly come up to me on the street, thinking that I’m one of them, and invite me to come with them to whatever goth club is popular at the time. I admit that it’s flattering every time this happens, but the goth community is simply not for me. If they only knew all of the ketchup, mustard, soy sauce, sriracha, and pasta sauce on my clothes that didn’t come out in the wash, they probably wouldn’t have made such a quick judgment.
When I cleared out all of the colors and whites from my closet and replaced them with more black clothes, the people closest to me grew a bit concerned. My best friend, Tamera, thought that I had suffered a death in my family. My coworkers thought I was going through a depressive episode. My parents were concerned that I wasn’t dressing femininely enough. Meanwhile, they all should’ve been more worried about my inability to eat anything without dropping some or most of it onto myself and ruining all my clothes in the process.
I may not be goth, but I do have little to no hand-eye coordination.
I spent years spot-treating, washing, and rewashing my clothes until I decided I had had enough. After all, why should I waste precious years of my life repenting my spills and messy eating when I could live freely and honestly without ever having to worry again? I lead a much happier, secretly-stained life now, and I encourage anyone who refuses to be careful while eating to do the same. And if anyone thinks you’re goth because of your collection of only black clothes? Let them! It’s honestly a lot cooler than the actual reason you’re doing it.
