In an absolutely mortifying story out of Brooklyn, NY, 27-year-old Sonya Yarros ordered a fun new drink at her local coffee shop, only to discover when they called her name that it came with a massive dollop of whipped cream on top.
Mortifying!
“I just froze,” Sonya told reporters. “My ears started ringing, my vision went fuzzy. All I remember is taking a deep breath, slowly making my way to the counter, taking my drink, and immediately leaving the coffee shop.”
Witnesses confirm it was super embarrassing to witness.
“If that were my drink,” one bystander told reporters. “I would’ve just cut my losses and walked out.”
Another bystander agreed, saying, “The drink was just doing way too much. You’d have to be a little kid to drink that beverage with confidence. That, or a pre-Revolution French monarch with a penchant for the extravagant.”
According to other witnesses at the scene, the whipped cream even had a little dusting of cinnamon on top, amplifying the shame of the drink even more.
Dear god, when will the atrocities stop?
“No self-respecting human should be consuming that much whipped cream in public at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday,” the barista who made the drink told reporters. “There’s a reason I don’t advertise how much whipped cream comes on that drink on our menu. No one would ever order it, and I get a sick little thrill every time I see someone look in horror at the drink they ordered.”
“The cherry on top was the cherry on top,” Sonya said. “Like, they literally put a whole ass cherry on top. I didn’t even know you could do that to an iced coffee. It felt like an affront to God.”
Jesus, fuck, hide your face and get out of there! Run!
In spite of her initial mortification, Sonya admitted that the drink was undeniably delicious.
“Was it good? Yes,” she said. “Was it worth the complete and utter social humiliation? Absolutely not. That designation is reserved for Shirley Temples and Shirley Temples only.”
Okay, now that’s actually understandable.
