In a disorienting story out of Cambridge, MA, your friend Hunter Elbridge is planning a group camping trip for next weekend, but has yet to have mentioned anything at all about hallucinogens.
The events in question are perplexing and troubling to Hunter’s co-campers.
“When Hunter started a group chat to plan a camping trip for next weekend, I was actually excited,” you say. “It sounded great to be among friends in nature and do mind altering drugs under the moonlight, but as the trip draws nearer, she’s talking about food supplies and sleeping bags…. still no word on when we’re planning to do shrooms and/or acid.”
Okay literally, what is this bitch up to?
“It’s just bizarre,” says another friend, Colby Chen. “We’re driving multiple hours for this. The closest she’s gotten to the topic was making some cheeky remark about good weed she picked up at the dispensary. I’m an adult. I don’t need to journey into the woods to smoke weed.”
The surreal plan has left witnesses confused and even scared.
“Why would a group of friends ever go camping and not do consciousness-altering psychoactive drugs?” you say. “Is she gonna kill us? Did we all kill someone together and now we’re hiding out and getting our story straight? I don’t recall doing that, but it makes more sense than what’s going down now.”
Despite her incomprehensible behavior, Hunter doesn’t seem to see the problem with a psychedelic-free camping trip.
“I guess I just didn’t think about it,” Hunter says. “I just think it will be much fun to hike and make a fire and stuff. Plus, I have weed!”
Again with the weed! What the fuck is going on with this woman?
“Does she not understand that it’s going to get dark at 8 p.m.?” says Colby. “If I’m gonna be sitting around for five hours scared of being eaten by a bear, I at least want to be tripping balls.”
“I’m pretty sure even the folks on Survivor get to microdose,” Colby adds. “Otherwise it’s just like, what’s the point?”
