Sometimes, people find dirty talk to be difficult, nerve-wracking, and even embarrassing. However, it doesn’t need to be this way. Dirty talk should be an honest reflection of your feelings, and you shouldn’t feel like you’re saying things that aren’t true to who you are. So stick to what you know – the Great Molasses Flood of 1919. Here’s how you can work it into your dirty talk, and use it as a jumping off point for some of the nastier things you want to say and do to your partner.
Tell your partner what you want to do to them.
Set the mood by speaking slowly and sensually, whispering into your partner’s ear, making sure to accentuate words and phrases like “hard,” “wet,” and “the thermal expansion of the molasses already inside the tank is what is believed to have caused it to burst.” You don’t want anything you say to get lost in the heat of the moment – unintentionally ruining the mood – especially if, however unlikely, your partner isn’t already familiar with the devastating consequences of the ruptured molasses tank in Boston’s North End. You want to be on the same page when things start to get hot and heavy, just like they did in 1919.
Describe what you’re doing right now.
This is great if you’re not physically with your partner and are talking dirty via text or FaceTime. Simple descriptions like, “I’m lying in bed naked, Googling how molasses is made” work best here. Don’t muddle your point with irrelevant details – stick to the important, sexy stuff, like how you’re touching yourself or how you can’t stop thinking about how horses got stuck in the molasses like the way that flies get stuck to sticky fly-paper. Your partner will appreciate the seductive specificity, and the haunting image of people and animals stuck waist-deep in thick, sweet goo will only bring you closer together.
Incorporate your senses into your descriptions.
To ground your dirty talk in reality, make sure to utilize your five senses. Tell your partner what you’re seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, and tasting in the moment. Amplify the impact of your dirty talk with specifics – instead of saying “I’m so wet,” try “I’m so wet, like how the spilled molasses was before it cooled and became viscous and people started getting stuck in it.” This will really set the scene and provide vivid, disturbing imagery for your partner to latch on to. Later on, sultry little texts like, “I can still smell you on my pillow. Similar to how the people of Boston swore they could still smell molasses in the North End on hot summer days for decades to come” can keep the mood going for hours, days, or (in the case of those Bostonians) decades after the fact.
In the end, the most important thing to remember when engaging in playful dirty talk is to stay true to who you are. There’s nothing sexier than just being yourself, and delivering unprompted, overly-detailed tidbits about the Great Molasses Flood of 1919 simply because you got into a deep Wikipedia hole about it last night.