QUIZ: Do You Want to Get Married or Should You Just Have a Birthday Party?

You’ve been dating this person for a while now and you’re starting to think that you might hear wedding bells, but how can you really be sure if you want to be legally bound to someone for the rest of your life, or if you just want to get drunk and dress up nice for one night? Take the quiz below to find out if you want to get married or just kind of have a cool party where people celebrate you.


What are you most looking forward to at this event?

  1. Tying the knot with my forever-person.
  2. Getting absolutely schlobbered and taking a bunch of pictures in my little outfit.


Who’s invited?

  1. A special day deserves a special group of people; family, friends, and that one old friend of my mom’s whom she made me invite.
  2. Literally anyone can come. I invited my downstairs neighbor and he said he might stop by with, like, a bunch of people.



What’s your budget?

  1. My partner’s parents are taking care of most of the cost which is like, so generous of them, obviously.
  2. Nothing too crazy, maybe $100 for cheeses that will get warm sitting out on the table.


Let’s talk music!

  1. Something lowkey, like a 10-piece jazz ensemble. Ooh, or this Instagram DJ I follow, should I DM him to get on his two-year waitlist?
  2. I might just put on Pandora… I don’t pay for ad-free though, that’s probably fine, right?


What words best-describe your partner?

  1. Soulmate, eternity, lover.
  2. I’ll tell you later, right now I really need them to go buy more ice. Go, go! Ice, we’re out of ice!



Mostly 1’s: Congratulations! That’s amore! You were put on this Earth to be a spouse and that’s exactly what you should do. Sure, after you GET married, you ARE married, but that’s the price you’re willing to pay for such a legendary rager. Now with God as your witness, go make your love everyone else’s problem!

Mostly 2’s: Looks like it’s actually just about the attention for you. You might want to GET married, but maybe you shouldn’t BE married. Instead, try renting out a fun venue for your next birthday party, or literally just have some people over for a movie. That wedding itch will scratch itself and make you say, “Thank fuck this party still allows me to file as ‘single’ with the IRS!”