Pretty privilege is real and can offer you real benefits such as to clubs most people couldn’t be paid to attend. Are you thirsting after a watered-down vodka cran? Are you craving a night that feels like forever but will have you on the dance floor for a maximum 20 minutes until you call an Uber? Well, here is the three-step guide to using pretty privilege to get into a sweaty mediocre nightclub.
Post Instagram Stories That Say “What’s the Move?”
Everyone knows that the site that most privileges the pretty is Instagram. This is where a lot of your work will have to be done. The Insta story is the platform and “What’s the move?” is your message. We recommend that you have a thirst trap mirror selfie to accompany your call to action. This is how you mobilize! Soon you will be clubbing with all the other pretties in a dirty dark room surrounded by men who went to Stern.
Find a Club Promoter
This sweaty and unsettling man knows that he’s not getting into a club without a posse of beautiful girls. He’ll walk you to the front of the line like he’s Drake and then spend 20 minutes arguing with the underpaid bouncer about his fictional table with endless bottle service. Once you get inside you might be joined by rounds of bored pretty girls with nothing better to do on a Thursday night. You will all follow each other Instagram even though you have barely spoken because you have been on your phone the entire time. But hey, you’re in the club, which is evidence of your pretty privilege!
Have a Famous Hot friend
Everyone knows that the only thing better than being pretty is being famous and hot. There is a major difference between pretty and hot, but we don’t have time for that. We’ve got to get you into this nightclub; the cover is $60 after midnight. Most famous people who cut lines also don’t tip, so don’t be surprised if the bottle girl gives you dirty looks – she knows about your type: The pretty friend riding on the coattails of the hot friend. You’ll feel pretty self-conscious the whole night, but at least it’s so loud!
If none of these work for you well maybe you aren’t pretty enough to shake your flesh in a dank and dark nightclub. There are levels to this shit; you might be better off being average-looking in a really great coffee shop. Cheers!
