How to Use Brad as Moderately as a Clay Face Mask

Starting a summer fling with a cute guy named Brad can be so fun, but let’s get one thing straight: you’re just having fun. This isn’t the guy you get serious with, he’s the guy who comes over at 11 pm twice a week. Brad serves an important purpose, but if you overdo it, you’re going to ruin the whole operation. Your relationship with Brad, just like your skincare routine, is all about balance. With that in mind, here’s how to use Brad as moderately as you use a clay face mask.


Only use Brad when you most desperately need to.

Brad and clay face masks are both very effective at targeting specific issues, but they can do more harm than good if overused. The level of horniness you should feel before texting Brad is comparable to the level of clogged your pores should be before using a clay face mask. You can use the same trick to determine when to use a clay face mask and when to use Brad. If you’re dry, you don’t need to use it right now.


Don’t rely on him.

A clay mask can be a great supplement to your skincare routine, but it’s the little things you do every day that really matter for your complexion. Using that same logic, don’t rely on Brad to listen to your amateur dream analysis. Don’t send Brad interesting articles you think he would enjoy. Don’t let Brad rely on you either. If you let him talk to you about the biography of a famous surfer he’s currently reading, his words will be dumb but humanizing, and you risk developing feelings. Like a clay face mask, you should use Brad once or maybe twice per week.




The whole ordeal shouldn’t last longer than 20 minutes.

When you do use Brad, place a limit on the length of contact. It can feel fun and glamorous to luxuriate in a clay face mask, but if you leave it on too long it will dry you out, and you certainly wouldn’t leave it on overnight. Sleepovers lead to mornings, and if you’re eating breakfast with Brad, you have crossed the threshold of moderation. When you’re done with your face mask or Brad, hop in the shower, wash off any residue, then head to bed alone and refreshed.


So sit back, relax, and enjoy your time with Brad! Just don’t enjoy too much time or he will become impossible to remove. Best of luck, and whether you’re using Brad or a clay face mask, don’t forget to moisturize after!