Traveling is among the best ways to see new places! And seeing new places makes you cultured, happy, and have a good Instagram. These are just some of the many reasons it’s so important to save up and set aside those vacation days for the great and fulfilling feat that is travel. So here’s how to make your jetsetter dreams a reality and venture out into the great unknown even though you’re gonna feel just a little sick the entire time.
Find your best mode of transport.
Plane, train, or automobile, there are plenty of ways to get around and see the world! What they all have in common is the fact that they’re going to make you gently ill for a prolonged period of time. Whether it’s the bodily stagnancy mixed with rest stop fast food of a road trip or the turbulence and stale air of a flight, you’re guaranteed to arrive at your destination absolutely nauseated and in a bad mood. Let the sight-seeing commence!
Make an itinerary.
When you’re on a big trip, every second counts! Make the most of these precious moments by having activities planned from jump. Between your unsettled stomach, inexplicably dry skin, and jetlag headache, you won’t feel good! But you don’t have enough money for cushion days on an international trip so get your sickly ass to the Louvre, bitch!
Explore local cuisine.
Whether you’re in Croatia or Brazil (or a different country – there are literally hundreds!) brand new culinary experiences await you! Don’t waste the opportunity to eat out three meals a day, all while your bowels are fighting for their lives to adjust to this unfamiliar environment. You may have traveler’s diarrhea, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have room for another Turkish Delight! Hope you’re having the time of your life! This whole thing really took a bite out of your savings!
Now that you’re sleep deprived, dehydrated from your volcanic ass, and wholistically unsettled on an atomic level, it’s time to turn the fuck up!! That’s right, we’re talking night life, baby. Go drink alcohol in an unfamiliar land. Maybe try some new drugs; after all, you’re on vacation. This will ensure you continue to feel just less than solid for at least the remainder of the trip, and it’s something you can reup on each night!
You only live once, and you’re not going to remember the days you spent in perfect health in your stupid apartment, so get traveling! If you’re lucky, you’ll even catch a bug to bring back with you as a little souvenir. Bon voyage!