Fall is upon us, and this crisp season is all about apple picking, beautiful foliage, and all men wearing flannels. When every man from your cousin to your boyfriend is wearing the same exact flannel, it can be nearly impossible to keep track of who’s who! Follow these tips to tell men apart during flannel season.
What color is the flannel?
Maybe you can keep all these gentle lumberjacks straight in your head by learning what color flannels they wear. Is it green? Red? Cream? Blue? Some combination of all of these colors that embodies and resembles every possible flannel? It seems that all men are suddenly Jake Johnson from October to November so don’t even bother with individual names and just call them all that.
Ignore body type entirely.
When you are trying to tell flanneled men apart, always remember: body type means nothing. Whether he’s buff and burly, wonderfully thick, or lean as a piece of wheat blowing in the autumn breeze, all men are the same under that button-down-blanket. Just ignore whatever shape his body makes under that flannel and ask him for his ID for a “magic trick,” clock his information, then say you just remembered you’re anti-magic and give it back. Desperate times call for desperate measures!
Study the face closely.
So let’s say you run into a friend on the street: He’s with three guy friends and they are all wearing thrifted red and black LL Bean flannels. Everything becomes a blur of faded plaid and work boots like a Brooklyn hunting catalogue. You panic. You haven’t the faintest clue which of these men is your friend Nick. Take a deep breath and study their faces – you can even hold up your hand in your sightline to cover their identical warm shirts. Once you get a good look at their facial features, you may be able to distinguish one from another. Oh, they all have neat beards and long on top short on the sides haircuts? Then nevermind. Just give a quick wave to the whole group and keep walking!
Check for accessories.
As a last resort while you desperately scan your eyes over men’s interchangeable flannel bodies, you can check for identifying accessories. Is he wearing black boots, a beanie, a grungy pout? You’re in luck! That’s not a man, that’s Kristen Stewart. If it is Kristen, your search is over. If it’s not, you’re back to square one; this is just one of 120 million men in America wearing flannels right now.
So next time you’re in a pickle trying to identify a man in a flannel this fall season, try out one of these tips. Good luck!
