How to Tap into Your Divine Femininity So Your Dealer Gives You Extra Weed

The divine feminine allows us to tap into our softer, more submissive energy that allows to be more open to receive things from others, like extra weed from our drug dealer. Here are a few tips that will allow you to awaken your divine femininity in hopes of some free nugs next time you call your dealer.


Speak in a feminine, delicate, breathy voice.

This should sound somewhere in between a moan and a cry for help. Think of every Lana Del Ray song. This will open your inner femininity and allow you to channel your divinity. Do not veer into baby voice territory! If you even try the baby voice, he will think that you are a weirdo creep and will probably stop selling you weed altogether. Keep it light, grown, and sexy, this will remind him of your divine feminine powers, and incline him toward at least giving you a free pre-roll. .


Wear floral dresses.

Nothing screams divine feminine like a floral dress. It’s light, comfortable and will make your feel connected with Mother Earth. The lightness of the dress will allow you to do your pelvic hip rotations that will allow you to access the small woman trapped inside of you. Weed is also a flower, so nothing is better suited for meeting with your plug.


Affirmations and Manifestations!

See in your mind’s eye that your dealer throws you an extra dime. Say affirmations to align your feminine vibrations and to tell the great Goddess what you want. Try this one! “I am a hot and I will get free weed.”


When you get in your dealer’s car tell him to drive you to the water so you can charge your yoni egg

This simple request will make him realize what a powerful spiritually aligned being you are. The yoni egg will replenish your feminine energy and will awaken your feminine powers of persuasion. Your plug will draw the natural conclusion that you must need extra weed to maintain this level of heightened consciousness.


So burn some rose incense, heal yourself with a bath, and remember that your vibrations are powerful. Bat those eyelashes and get your weed, Earth mama!