When having sex with your partner, you should feel like both of your needs are being met. However, if you have gotten used to faking orgasms for the sake of your partner’s satisfaction, this isn’t always easy – especially when you love living truthfully under imaginary circumstances due to years of youth theater training. Unfortunately, this comes at a cost of your own pleasure in the bedroom, no matter how convincing your performance may be. Here’s how to stop faking orgasms even though you spent three or more consecutive summers at theater camp:
Live in the moment.
You may not realize it, but your training at theater camp prepared you for this! As you likely already know, some of the best acting is when an actor does not seem to be acting at all, so in this case, try to be in the present and simply give back what your partner is giving to you. If you also took some improvisation classes at theater camp, you will also know the importance of saying “yes, and” in a scene. Yes, your partner is rubbing your inner thigh instead of your genitals, and you should probably tell them that!
Role play.
If you are struggling to relax and comfortably be yourself during sex, then it may be worth it to get the creative juices out of your system by role playing instead. During role play, you can be anyone: a sailor coming home from a harrowing journey through the high seas, a maiden locked up in a castle, or Elizabeth Proctor from Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, your dream role that your camp nemesis Marnie Lateman landed despite you learning a East Anglian accent for your audition. That bitch. Anyway, have fun!
Trying going “method”.
If you are still finding it difficult to connect to your body in this scene/sex act, then it may be time to study up! Figure out what kind of person refuses to fake orgasms and live as that character for however long it takes for you to understand them. Your partner may be confused that you’re going by a different name, wearing different clothes, sporting a new haircut, and speaking in a French accent for weeks on end, but remember: you have to do what it takes to reach authenticity and an orgasm. Hopefully, they will be able to understand that — if not, then c’est la vie!
So what if you didn’t end up on Broadway after all? That’s no excuse to use your theater camp training to fake orgasms with your partner, even though you clearly have a passion for the dramatic arts. Try these tips to leave this version of you behind once and for all, and to start using your experience at theater camp for the things that really matter in life: nailing job interviews after lying on your resumé!
