After my most recent experience faking an orgasm, I had an epiphany: this wasn’t doing anything for me, it wasn’t doing anything for my boyfriend, and it wasn’t doing shit to improve my deceptive video editing skills. It was for these reasons that I decided to stop faking orgasms for good, and instead devote my time to deepfaking them.
I know what you’re thinking: “If you wanted to stop faking orgasms, wouldn’t you just start communicating better with your partner so you could have authentic ones?” But here’s the thing: no amount of real-world communication could fix this. I am the only one capable of bringing myself to orgasm, but that doesn’t mean sex can’t still be an enjoyable experience for me and my heavy-fingered boyfriend.
Fake orgasms didn’t do either of us any favors. Deepfaked orgasms, on the other hand? Endless pleasure for us both.
Now, instead of just having lackluster, orgasmless sex, I film said sex, then sit knee-to-knee with my boyfriend while I do some deeply unethical video manipulation. He was so impressed with my work, he thought he really did bring me to climax for a second!
We’ve never been happier!
All of the late nights I’ve spent creating these deepfakes has been time well spent. It has actually become a sort of aftercare ritual for both of us. I get to spend hours digitally tinkering with a video to make it look like I orgasmed, and then spend several more hours making it look like it’s not me in the video, but Queen Elizabeth. And then my boyfriend gets to watch himself have sex with Queen Elizabeth!
While I’m still decades away from ever experiencing a meaningful orgasm with my boyfriend, my deepfakes have gotten so good that I’ve officially been sent a cease and desist by Queen Elizabeth’s estate. Who needs to finish when you’ve got the English monarchy quaking in their wellies?