How to Signal Trust in Your Relationships by Displaying Asshole

Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. What better way to signal to your partner that your bond is loving, trusting, tender, and evergreen, than bending over and displaying your asshole to them? Forget about being Instagram-official, or combining your finances with them. At the end of the day, the realest way to say “I trust you, I love you, and every day you will be safe with me” is to spread your cheeks and let your partner achieve full visual access to your butthole. Here’s how:


Make sure you’re ready for this step.

Hole-displaying is not a joke – it’s just not something to be rushed into. Think about what could happen if you just greeted the wrong person asshole-first. A malevolent actor could totally take advantage of that position of power and tamper with your sacred orifice, messing up your gut health and daily functioning for days, even weeks on end. So before you go around displaying that anus for just any old fling, make sure this person is truly ride-or-die. Only then can you safely and responsibly reveal that hole, like a newly adopted cat revealing its vulnerable little tummy! Or a regular cat displaying its asshole just because.


Display it often.

It’s like saying “I love you” – sure, we already know, but that’s not the point! It’s nice to affirm our love and intimacy often, just because. Did they have a hard day at work? Flash the asshole. Are they feeling moody and unsure of themselves? Flash the asshole. Let us be clear: once or twice is not enough! That could fly in one of your meh, lukewarm, take-it-or-leave-it, half-assed relationships from your past. But in a truly thriving relationship with rock-solid intimacy, a few ass-flashes a week is a bare minimum.


Don’t be deterred by naysayers.

Okay, so you let your friend Linda know about this asshole-displaying trust exercise, and she didn’t get it. This just shows that Linda’s relationship is wishy-washy, and she’s projecting that insecurity and uncertainty onto you! While it may be common in today’s anti-intimacy culture to normalize trust issues, rigid boundaries, and dismissive-avoidant attachment styles, it’s important that you stay the course. Whether you wax and/or bleach is up to you.


If/when a breach of trust occurs, keep it displayed for an hour or so.

This is an important part of the process for any couple trying to repair trust. Trust falls are a gamble, but displaying your asshole says “I’m here, I’m open, I’m not going anywhere and if I have to take a little shit on this carpet to prove that, I’ll do it.” Can you believe an asshole can say all that?



Remember: Intimacy is about vulnerability, and the greatest show of vulnerability is a showing of your butthole! So get out there and build trust by displaying that hole.