How To Put Yourself First So You Get Less Prison Time

It can be hard to practice self-care when you’re worried about the well-being of others. But it’s so important to take care of yourself, especially when you and your girls hit a guy with your car on spring break and now you’re sitting in front of a detective from the Miami Dade police department and they’re asking you how this dude’s blood got onto your bumper and you’re facing serious jail time. So here’s how to put yourself first so you get less prison time than your girls.


Allow yourself some “me” time.

You love your friends but girl, this is not the time to put your heads together and worry about other people’s needs before your own! In order to best take care of you, you need to tell your friends that you need some time for yourself to process everything, then go into a room alone to tell the police the truth: That you were not driving and your girls forced you in the car and you totally didn’t have anything to do with the death of that guy. Sometimes it feels selfish to learn to help yourself but sometimes, you deserve it!


Learn to say no.

Some women have a tendency to get pulled into other people’s problems. It’s easy to get bogged down in your friend’s dramas and troubles, but sometimes you just need to walk about and wipe your slate clean. For example, sometimes you need to deny that you had any culpability in the hit and run you were a part of despite the mounting evidence against you. You’ll never reach your goals if you’re too busy helping others achieve theirs!


Make a deal with the police.

As they say, “You can’t change others but you can change yourself.” You also can’t change the fact that you and your besties murdered a man with your Toyota Camry. What you can do is make a deal with the police. Tell them everything you know about how Stacey has “murdery eyes” in exchange for less jail time. This is your self-care! You’ll feel so free, as in free from the confines of a prison!



Self-care is a serious part of achieving physical and mental wellness. Don’t let your family and friends wrap you up into their drama and keep you from being the best you that you can be! And if the police ask why you were in the driver’s seat, going 100 miles per hour, after drinking seven tequilas and doing a few bumps of coke, just tell the truth: It was self-care!