Looking hot every day is hard work, but making sure that you look hot when you’re dead is even harder. After all, how are people gonna know that you were hot when you’re nothing more than dirt and bones? Well, you have nothing to worry about — just follow these tips and the archaeologists who eventually find your body will have to pick their jaws up off the floor when they see your fucking sexy skeleton buried in the ground.
Pick a sexy pose to die in.
Your hotness can practically quadruple just by striking a great pose, and lying in your deathbed is no exception. When you feel like you might be taking your last breaths, simply create as many angles as you can with your body, while also accentuating your best assets. You might be dead, but at least you’ll still look sickening when you’re six feet under.
Wear something cute.
Obviously, wearing a hot outfit is a key indicator that you must have been hot when you were alive. Make sure you go for something super tight, so that no matter what stage of decay your body’s in, the archaeologists will still be able to imagine all your luscious curves that once were. We’d also recommend going for polyester clothing, because it will take hundreds of years to decompose, giving the scientists a clear picture of what colors looked best on you.
Bring some laminated selfies with you.
If you’re still afraid that the people who eventually dig up your body hundreds of years in the future won’t totally get that you were drop dead gorgeous, printing out the pictures where you looked your hottest, laminating them, and getting buried with them when you die is a totally foolproof way to prove your hotness. Plus, if you include your Instagram handle with your pics, you’ll probably get a couple postmortem followers, too!
So if you’re so dedicated to looking hot that you want to make sure the scientists who dig you up for research will be thoroughly impressed, you just follow these steps and you’ll be remembered for how you truly were: a total knockout. Oh, and also make sure you have your will and testament in order!
