How to Make Losing Your Keys Everyone Else’s Problem

Losing your keys is one of the most upsetting problems that can happen. Rest assured: sucking others into your vortex of panic and hysteria can help make it all better. Here’s a list of people you can involve when you’re not in the mood to resolve this on your own:


Significant Other

If accusing your significant other of losing your keys won’t work, make them feel guilty for not noticing the last place they saw you using them. If they really loved you, they’d be so tuned in to your every move that they’d have an easy answer.



This works especially well if your parents live out-of-state and have absolutely no control over the situation. When locked out of your apartment, make sure your first call isn’t to a locksmith, but rather a frantic, tearful plea to your folks. This is best done after you’re sure they’ve gone to bed and will be completely unsettled to receive a emergency late-night phone call.


Random Co-workers

Don’t be shy! Just because you don’t know someone very well doesn’t mean they get a free pass out of your lost keys terror zone! Be sure to make plenty of rounds throughout the office, stopping at each person’s desk to ask if they’ve seen your keys. Wonder out loud if they might have taken your keys by accident in your most passive-aggressive tone. It’s a great way to meet people while simultaneously letting them know to tread lightly around you.



The Universe

In this instance, the universe can mean anything that makes you less culpable – God, Mercury in retrograde, Karma, or bad energy from that lady on the subway. Whatever you choose to blame, repeat it loudly to those around you to maximally disrupt their lives.


Losing your keys is incredibly annoying, so make sure it’s annoying for everyone around you as well!