How to Attract Gay Friends – with Narcissism!

Every girl wants a gay bestie, but not all of us succeed in finding one. Why not? It may be that you’re just not narcissistic enough. Gay guys love girls who love themselves, so here’s how to amp up your self-involvement and attract the gayest of BFFs:


Compliment Yourself – Constantly.

Wherever you are, find a mirror and self-appreciate – hard. Some handsome gay is bound to notice. “Ooh, I look fierce,” is a great thing to say at the mall, in line at the movies, or loudly in stalled traffic. You’ll have gays flocking to you like straight white people to casual business attire.



In order to attract a gay’s attention, you’ve got to outshine the most attractive men around you. Accessorize in the brightest and flashiest way possible and work those accessories. This means posing, waving them around, and talking about them as you’re waving them around. Just don’t be tacky. Unless that’s the kind of gay you’re into. Try suspenders, which are super easy to put your hands on and pull out like you’re some kind of fancy bird flapping it’s wings. No gay can resist making a note of this type of behavior.


Dance in Way that Says, “I Love to Dance and I Look Good”

Your moves should be studied, but more importantly it should be clear that you think they’re amazing. Attracting gays is all about attitude.



Add Drama.
Get fucking pissed at someone and Make. It. Known. Gay guys love a girl who is bold and brazen enough to start shit with literally anyone.


Make Noise.

When all else fails, just yell out whatever noises or exclamations come to you at the bar. Your disregard for keeping the peace lets the surrounding gays know: You don’t give a fuck about anything but your own sassy self. You’ll definitely be someone they want to be around.


Remember: girls who don’t LOVE themselves are sad and pathetic and boring to be around. Gay guys want a girl whose ego is easy to stroke, because she’s already gotten started.