In a society that constantly pressures us to fit certain ideals, loving yourself is hard. And few societal pressures are more stress-inducing than the idea that when you’re on a road trip, you must see the cows by the side of the road. If you often find yourself missing the cows after someone else in the quickly moving vehicle yells “Cows!”, you’re not alone. Here are a few tips to help you remind yourself that you’re still worthy of love.
Remember that there will be other cows.
Every road trip has to have at least five cow sightings, right? That seems to make sense, probability-wise. You’ll see the next ones, or maybe you’ll see some horses. Try not to think about the fact that you’re the only person in the car who hasn’t seen a single bovine, even though you’ve been keeping your eyes peeled for the duration of the drive. Don’t think about the fact that everyone else said one of the last cows was brown and white, which is probably pretty rare for a cow if you had to guess based on your extremely limited knowledge of cows.
Think of all the other skills you have.
Sure, you’re not good at finding cows, but you’re great at finding other things, like reasons to end a relationship, or your own character flaws. Refrain from adding “not seeing cows” to that list of flaws. Try not to recall middle school PE class, which was when you first became aware of your bad reflexes. Missing the cows is totally different from being picked last for someone’s team, and your friends aren’t going to bully you. Though you missing the cows has started to become an inside joke among them…
Realize it’s for the best.
You’re better off this way. If you’d seen the cows, you might have developed a love for cows, causing you to go vegan, which would have been inconvenient when ordering at restaurants. Try not to develop a theory that the cows by the side of the road are materializing out of thin air during the brief moments that you look down at your phone. This is definitely not a ploy created by the cows just to drive you to the brink of insanity.
Now that you’ve come to terms with the fact that you haven’t seen any cows, you should be able to enjoy the rest of your road trip. You’ll have plenty of time to nap because while you may be the worst at spotting cows, you’re also the only person on the road trip who doesn’t know how to drive!
