There comes a time in every friend group when one of your gal pals decides to become a mom. And when that moment comes, it’s important to make sure you are fully equipped to support that friend through the trials and tribulations of motherhood, even though you yourself (and none of your other friends, not even like your distant friends) have ever had a child. Here’s how to give expert parenting advice to the first gal in your friend group to have a baby because you obviously know what you’re talking about.
Tell Her Not to Worry Because Her Boobs Look Great
When your friend gets stressed because her baby isn’t latching, tell her to focus on the upside: her boobs look amazing. Sure, you may not really know what she means when she says “latching,” but you know it has to do with boobs and you know she shouldn’t take those new ta-ta’s for granted. Like many new mothers, your friend may blame herself, linking her newborn’s inability to latch with her own self-worth. If this is the case, gently rub her back and reassure her, “Your kid will come around to latching eventually, I assume. Plus, people pay big money for tits like that. You should be thanking him!”
Remind Her How Tough Single Life Is
As a new mother, your friend may become overwhelmed with the sheer volume of new responsibilities being thrown at her every moment. She is now in charge of another human being, after all. It’s important in moments like this for your friend to feel heard and like she’s not alone, which is why you should remind her how overwhelmed you feel trying to live as a single 30-something with a high-powered career and diverse range of interests. Just because she’s a mother doesn’t mean she’s the only one with lots of shit on her plate. This will definitely help her grow as a mom!
Ask Her Why She’s Not Making Time For Herself
Being a mom is hard. But when your friend complains about her lack of sleep and time to do simple things, like shower and eat a healthy meal, the best thing you can do is ask, “Well, why aren’t you making time for yourself?” You may not know what the schedule of a new mom looks like, but you do know that one of your New Year’s Resolutions was to take more “me time,” and that has made a big difference in your life. Give this new mama the same advice you drunkenly gave yourself at the end of 2016, and she’s sure to thank you once she stops weeping.
You don’t have to be a mother to give top-rate parenting advice. So keep telling the new mommy in your life how you would parent her child differently. She’ll love it!
