Maybe it’s that new guy at work, or the guy who’s always walking his dog past your apartment, or maybe he’s the captain of the Chinese Army. Whoever he is, everyone has that one guy they just can’t get out of their head. But does he even know you exist? Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and make the first move by changing your identity, dressing like a man, and running off to become a brave warrior. Here’s how to finally get his attention:
Chop All Your Hair Off With A Sword
Nothing can get a man’s attention like a fresh new look! Grab that sword you can barely lift and give yourself a fresh blunt cut, then flaunt it, girl! He’ll love that you look like you tried, but not too hard. Pull it into a sexy man bun, pair it with zero makeup, and tell everyone you’re Fa Zhou’s son. He won’t be able to resist!
Befriend A Rag Tag Bunch of Fellow Recruits
If you make friends with his friends, he’ll have to take notice. Showing him you can fit in is key, but make sure you don’t break into song and dance with your new crew too much. He could get jealous of the whole thing, and then you’ve disguised yourself and joined the army for nothing!
Climb A Really Tall Pole
You might think that playing hard to get is sexy, but it’s not. Climbing a big pole is! Go get that arrow, girl! He’ll be “making a man out of you” before you know it!
Defeat The Huns
If you want him to see you as more than one of his soldiers, you’re going to have to put yourself out there and defeat the Huns! Even if no one believes you when you say the Huns are in the city, just be persistent. Trust us, this is the best way to meet men!
Bring Honor to Your Country
Nothing will make him notice you like bringing honor and glory to all of China. Once he sees the emperor bow to you, he will wonder why he didn’t notice you before. And once he discovers the sacrifices you’ve made for your family, he’ll be bowing too. There is no better way to do this!
By doing just a few things like making a great first impression, dressing up like a man, and joining the Chinese army, you’ll have him wrapped around your finger in no time!
