How to Get Everyone to Leave You Alone So You Can Watch Your Murders

These days, it’s hard to get a moment of peace. Relationships and friends demand our attention, work keeps us occupied, and keeping up with the news can take up so much mental space. Every once in a while, it’s important to shut out everyone in your life so that you can take refuge in the one relaxing pastime in the world: watching your murders. Here are some tips getting away from the world at large that you can soak up your daily quota of Unsolved Mysteries.



You don’t have to tell anyone where you’re going, just head to whatever peaceful location you’ve chosen for watching your murders. Sure, family and friends may worry, but ultimately they’ll understand: there’s an episode of Forensic Files where they track down the person who set off a bomb based on unique color codes found in tiny plastic shards of debris, and that’s unmissable.


Loudly Announce That You Are Practicing Self-Care

If anyone in your life confronts you about your lack of communication or the number of important events you’ve missed while you sit rapt watching The Keepers, excuse yourself by saying, “I was practicing self-care.” Friends may cast doubt on your story, but you know that there’s nothing better for your mental health than watching Mommy Dearest and feeling chills roll down your back at the idea of that mother and daughter going to Disney World.


Commit Murder Yourself!

This one may seem extreme, but think about it: a dead husband can’t ask you to turn off Women Behind Bars. Plus, there’s TV in prison! This could mean a lifetime of no distractions, just the comfort of an orange jumpsuit and uninterrupted time to watch your murders. Maybe one day, you’ll even watch the one you committed!



There are many ways to get your loved ones to leave you alone so that you can watch your murders! Whether you ignore everyone in your life or kill them off, these strategies will lead you to a peaceful, solitary time soaking up true crime. Happy watching!