So, your ten-year high school reunion is coming up and you obviously want everyone from your hometown to think that you’re crushing it. But at the same time, you’re unemployed, unstable, and could really use some cash from the slew of new moms you’re about to encounter. Since you’re doing great but, you know, still figuring it out, this is the perfect opportunity to book some babysitting jobs! Here are some tips for appearing successful but also completely available to babysit.
Dress For Success (But Not Too Much)
Your outfit should say, “I’m doing great, but not great enough to be above accepting cash for babysitting your children.” These sorts of cute but also cheap-looking outfits can usually be found at H&M, which you probably already know because that’s what you can afford right now.
Bring A Date
Nothing says, “I’m killing it” more than walking into your reunion with a hot date! This should be a person that can fawn all over you, and talk about what a great woman and babysitter you are. People will be so impressed by the fact that you’re in a mature, stable relationship that hopefully they won’t think it’s too pathetic that you’re trolling for babysitting gigs at your high school reunion.
Keep It Vague
When people ask you what you do, say something like, “I don’t have a day job because it’s just too limiting for me.” Call yourself a “multimedia artist.” Say you’re “pitching a bunch of ideas” right now. All of those things can mean nothing, but still sound impressive to stable people. You have absolutely no idea what her future holds, but don’t tell anyone that. Just tell them that spending time with kids enriches your already rich life, and you’ll do it for cash or Venmo payments.
Ask The Right Questions
People love to talk about themselves, so ask questions, but make sure they’re the right ones! Questions you can go for include: “How have you been?” “What hours do your children need a babysitter?” “Isn’t it crazy how I happen to be available those exact hours you mentioned?” And “I wouldn’t normally say this because I’m doing great, but, wouldn’t it be fun if I was their babysitter and you paid me?”
At some point in the night, you’re going to have to just go for it and ask for those babysitting gigs. If you’ve followed these tips, you’ve looked successful, but not so successful that people won’t believe you when you say you want to be their kids’ babysitter. Everyone wins, but especially you, because you’ll get cash that you won’t have to pay taxes on!
