How Not To Sob Uncontrollably Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Your Job At Work

When you’re at work, one thing is clear: you are there to online shop and Gchat with everyone you know. But sometimes, your boss requests you do actual tasks and every time she does, it makes you want to burst into full, guttural sobs. Check out these helpful tips on how to keep your shit together when your boss asks you to actually do your job:


Hide under your desk.

Crying is a beautiful and healthy expression in times of stress, especially when your boss just asked you to do the thing that is your job. But you can’t cry at work again! Hiding is your best bet to make sure that your boss will never find you and ask you to do the work you are getting paid to do, which will eliminate the need to sob loudly at your desk in the first place. Who said millennials weren’t innovative??


Stuff your entire fist in your mouth.

Sometimes the best way to keep the waterworks at bay is to just go ahead and stuff your whole fist in your mouth. Next time your boss starts asking you if he has any meetings on his schedule, just put your fist in your mouth without breaking eye contact. It’ll stop the sobs and scare your boss enough that he may never ask you for something ever again. Nice!


Just do your job before he has to ask.

Haha just kidding! Continue to do everything but your job while he’s not looking over your shoulder. Then when he stops by to ask you something, smile and nod until he leaves the room and you can go back to uncontrollably sobbing in the fetal position under your desk. This is normal and fine!


See? Gentle confrontations with your boss aren’t so bad when you evade them entirely! Just keep treading water out there someone notices your ingenuity and fires you.