We all wish we could eliminate all the distractions from our lives and finally get some real, meaningful creative work done, right? Fortunately, my loving partner finally gave me that gift while we were making love last month: After months of slow progress, I finally finished my doctoral thesis while were busy figuring out the strap-on that had gotten tangled in a bag.
It’s been hard to find time for intimacy when I could barely find time to work on my thesis (“The Effect of Astrological Signs on Interpersonal Relationships”). So, while we were engaging in some light foreplay on Saturday afternoon, my partner gestured to hang tight as they pulled the strap out of the drawer with a knowing smile on their face. I sat there patiently for a few moments, trying to stay in it, while they struggled to pull the harness out of a bag full of dildos. It was taking a while, but I just kept saying, “You’re so hot” while I was glancing at my laptop, like, “maybe”?
Touching myself was starting to get boring and performative. After an hour passed, my partner was still figuring out which strap was supposed to go where on the harness. Fortunately, they didn’t seem to notice I had cracked open my laptop and had a really powerful inspiration to write. After months of writer’s block, the words were just flowing out of me! And my partner was still trying to get the harness tight on both sides without it falling down one leg.
“Maybe it’s time to invest in a new strap-on,” I thought. “But I’ll have to finish grad school before we can afford that.”
A couple of days passed, and I was making great progress with some edits in this marathon sex/writing session as my partner was still trying to fit the nub of a double-ended dildo inside them without making the harness too loose so that it falls down and loses all structural integrity.
I was starting to feel a little bad, but then again, I was just making the most out of our downtime. My partner didn’t seem to mind.
Several hours later, it was getting dark and they were reapplying lube again after a difficult attempt to fasten the remaining straps on the harness. Unfortunately, the lube only made it harder for everything to just start sliding down to their feet.
Fortunately, I was fucking nailing the conclusion of my thesis.
The best part? After two full days of this, we finished at the same time – me, with my thesis, and them, with the strap-on. We were both way too exhausted to have sex but were very proud of each other nevertheless. So if you ever find yourself in the same situation, don’t be afraid to kill two birds with one stone, and ultimately not have sex – it really worked for us!
