In a beautiful story coming out of Miami, FL, 28-year-old Ollie Hart has decided to honor her inner child today by coughing the way she used to: without covering her mouth.
You go girl! Never lose that youthful spirit!
“It’s so easy to get caught up in the trappings of adult life and lose sight of the things you loved as a kid,” she told reporters gathered at the scene, where she was in the middle of giving a work presentation. “For me, that means coughing for all to see. What happened to the childlike eyes through which I viewed this vibrant and exciting world? How can I honor the little 2-year-old inside me who refused to make herself smaller for other people’s benefit? This is how.”
About 10 minutes into her presentation, Ollie coughed extremely loudly without covering her mouth such that her extended tongue was visible to all in attendance. Her coworkers are unsure whether to be proud or appalled, but either way, they’re definitely disgusted.
“You could see the spit flying out of her mouth as she did it,” said Ollie’s coworker, Bronson Field. “Plus, she did it right into my coffee, so it was kind of a double whammy. Proud of her for letting her inner light shine, though, I guess?”
Exactly! Coughing with your mouth open is all about honoring your inner light.
Ollie immediately explained that she’s been trying to reconnect with her younger self as of late and to stop self-censoring by doing things like “asking permission to live life out loud” or “covering her mouth when she coughs or sneezes.”
“It’s so freeing to just shut my eyes and sneeze with reckless abandon,” she continued. “And then to start crying because it took me by surprise.”
According to Ollie’s company, this is the exact behavior they’re trying to encourage.
“We know that our employees work best when they can be wholly themselves and rediscover a sense of play,” said Ollie’s boss, Maya Ducharne. “We achieve this around the office by having designated play centers and ping pong tables, but after what we’ve seen here today, we’ve decided to add specific rooms where people can go just to cough and sneeze with their mouths wide open, tongues out.”
As far as whether this will improve workers’ productivity, Maya is unsure, but reporters can safely say no.
As of press time, Ollie had decided to keep the good, youthful times rolling by eating a handful of dirt.
