Good Outfit Wasted on Tina

When a Tina Knochel’s breakup turned a girl’s night out into a girl’s night in, friend Brittany Johnson told sources her one good outfit had been completely wasted on Tina.


“You sure you can’t rally with a few drinks? I spent three hours getting ready,” Johnson asked her whimpering friend, whose live-in boyfriend of five years had just informed her via text message that he was leaving her for a girl he met at the coffee shop. “Three. Hours.”


Johnson added that Knochel’s selfishly timed heartbreak sent seven outfit changes, nine verbal approvals from her roommate, and an entire afternoon spent at the mall, straight down the drain.



Countless girlfriends, roommates, and other people not worth dressing up for had borne witness to Johnson’s Tumblr-approved looks. But according to Johnson, this isn’t the first time Knochel has ruined a flawless outfit with last-minute request to stay in for the night: The worst case of Knochel squandering an impeccable ensemble occurred after the sudden death of Knochel’s grandmother, completely wasting at least three friends’ outfits and the outfit one acquaintance.


“I had already posted a picture of myself wearing this amazing new romper on Instagram when she told me the news, so I couldn’t even wear it out the next night,” Johnson said of her friend’s selfish request to stay in and watch Gram Gram’s favorite movie, His Girl Friday. “I did fucking pin curls.”


At press time, Johnson was seen angrily scrubbing Knochel’s tears out of her new silk top while Knochel slowly began to pack her boyfriend’s foreign film collection.