In spite of several similar instances, your friend who spent one semester in Rome still refuses to stop talking about how she exposed an Italian pop star for being a lip-syncing fraud.
She allegedly found her way in by saying “razie” to your server even though you’re at a Mediterranean restaurant.
“Ugh, I don’t know where that came from,” she said. “The last time I had to speak Italian was probably with Paolo before I found out he was a lying snake just using me in a scheme to take down another woman.”
However, no one at the gathering was quick to take her bait this time.
“It’s just like, that was literally in 2003,” you say. “Our friend Bea spent a whole year in Berlin and she doesn’t even talk about it that much, yet somehow this girl is constantly talking about the time she happened to be Paolo’s singing partner’s American doppelgänger and the various antics that ensued.”
“Like sorry,” you add. “You’re not even Italian!”
Your friend, however, is undeterred in her pursuit to never stop bringing this up.
“I literally was emotionally manipulated by a handsome pop star named Paolo and nearly fell for him, but then ultimately realized through the power of friendship and believing women that he was a malevolent fraud,” your friend says. “I think that’s a story you get to tell for the rest of your life.”
But you don’t see it that way.
“So you went to Rome: one of the most touristy cities in Italy,” you say. “Whatever. I went to DC legitimately last week and I didn’t so much as post a picture. Traveling isn’t a personality.”
At press time, your friend is gently humming the song that she performed alongside the female Italian pop star she vindicated, but everyone is pretending not to hear her.
