In an unexpected yet sexy story out of Brooklyn, NY, it appears the iced oat milk matcha latte you just bought might be a financial dominatrix given that the 12-ounce beverage cost $8.
“I knew a matcha latte from a fancy coffee shop would be a bit of a splurge,” you say. “But when the indifferent barista spun around the iPad and I saw that it was $7 pre-tip, I felt something I’m not sure I’ve ever felt before.”
“Following along with the point-of-sale directions and watching as that bossy little beverage took away a not insignificant percent of my net worth,” you said. “I felt pathetic, powerless…and a little turned on?”
Financial domination is a kink dynamic in which the submissive has their pockets drained through giving expensive gifts and money to their Dominant, and you’d never given it much thought beyond casually praising findoms for “getting their bag”. Now here you are on the other side.
“I certainly never thought I would be a findom sub, or a ‘pay pig’ to use the parlance of the community,” you say. “This just didn’t seem like the role of someone with outstanding student debt whose rent is over 50% of their income.”
“But that all changed when I spent the cost of a full meal on a drink with no nutritional value,” you add. “The sweet surrender of being drained? I get it.”
The eye-opening event has you curious about venturing deeper into this fetish lifestyle, you you’re facing detractors.
“No,” says your roommate, Jessy Klein. “She cannot get a sugar baby. Last month she asked if she could pay her share of the ConEd by tap dancing for me whenever I want. I never want that. Absolutely do not humor this.”
For now, you’re resigned to let your life financially dominate you instead.
“My friend invited me to a movie tonight, and I just saw the tickets are $18,” you say. “Ugh, existing in this world is absolutely ravishing me.”