Earlier today, Miguel Rueda, family-man and bathroom-goer stepped foot into his bathroom to take his scheduled morning dump. His family had no idea how long they’d be without their beloved father.
“It was a very trying time,” says Miguel’s wife, Julia Rueda. “Partially because I missed my husband, but mostly because we were down to one bathroom until this afternoon. We’re just happy to have him back, though.”
“I’d knock on the door every 30 or so minutes. First, he’d politely cough to let me know someone was in there, then he’d say, ‘Just a second’ but life kept moving on the outside. For instance, I had to run to Target without him. That used to be our special place together.”
When confronted as to why it took him so long to get out, Miguel Rueda said, “The problem was I brought my charger. I normally wait for my phone to die and that’s my queue to get out. But with my charger plugged into the wall? I read the news for a few hours, then played GamePigeon pool with my friend Roger. Oh, and I was also taking a shit for over six hours.”
While absentee-father Miguel was happy, his daughter Luisa had mixed emotions.
“For a while I resented him. I wondered what was so much better in the bathroom that he didn’t have out here. But now I kind of get it. Sometimes you just need a break. I’m excited for him to meet his grandson.”
Miguel is still acclimating, but has enjoyed catching up with his family since he left the bathroom from his morning dump at about 4:30 p.m. today. Now, he’s thinking toward what his next move might be.
“I’m going to get a bidet in there. And maybe a mini fridge.”
