If you want to stay under the covers all day, there’s no reason you can’t feel beautiful in a darling gown. When you’re suffering from ennui or are just exhausted from all the amorous stares you get upon leaving the house, these fancy bedtime looks will have your roommates and houseguests asking, “Is that a queen in repose?” faster than you can say, “I pleasured myself six times today and yet I feel no pleasure at all.”
Crushed Velvet
A nice pre-wrinkled material is perfect for preventing those I’ve-been-sleeping-for-14-hours wrinkles. You can lounge about in crushed velvet all day and night without a single crease—the last thing you need is more visible evidence of your clinical melancholy! Better still, the water-resistant material makes it spectacular for concealing your womanly tears.
Your Prom Dress
The Promenade was a disaster, but your sophisticated dress sure wasn’t. Spend the afternoon lamenting your failure to hold Michael’s attention in the look that will make him regret it forever. You can even use your corsage as a pillow as you!
Old-Timey Dressing Gown
One way to stay elegant while still laying in bed all day is to look like a beautiful ghost. A lovely old dressing gown is the key to haunting elegance. Throw any flowing taupe garment on and your terrified roommates will never interrupt your naps to pester you about your career or income prospects.
Any Dress with a Really Puffy Skirt
Many fancy dresses these days are puffy in all the wrong places for fashion, but all the right places for lying down for long periods of time. If you’re going to spend all day in repose, why not do it with a built-in cushion for your derriere? You deserve it. The bulk you gain in the layered fabric will be made up for in the long lines created by lying down.
Princess Costume
So fine, going outside today seems like a far-away impossible concept. That doesn’t mean you can’t be a princess. Lots of princesses are sleepy and/or sequestered indoors! A good princess look will make you feel radiant and royal as you watch your parents’ HBO GO account and eat week-old leftovers on that IKEA futon. You are the classic damsel in distress!
Wedding Dress
With this gown, you can wait for love to find you in comfort and style. Lying around in a wedding dress isn’t just for broken loons, you know! If you choose to include it, a veil is the perfect substitute for a traditional sleep mask. You’re not crazy—you’re just prepared to find love when you least expect it.
There you have it, honeys. You can have your cake and eat it in bed too with elegant looks to lay out on your your comfortable fold-out from daybreak to setting sun. You’ll be the most charming girl in the room!
