Hey, babe. I know we’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months now, and our relationship has slowly and surely progressed such that it now feels like a long-term partnership. For that reason, I think it’s really important that I let you know – now, before I lead you on or anything – that my attachment style is “No.”
You might be wondering how I know that my attachment style is “No,” and the truth is, I took a quiz online about four years ago, and my computer exploded. Some people are anxiously attached, which I think is lame, while others are avoidant – that one’s chill – but I am something else entirely: a danger to myself and everyone around me.
A core tenet of having a “No” attachment style is that you should basically never expect anything of me. This will not prevent me from expecting the world of you, just so you’re aware, but that’s simply how my attachment style works.
It’s really important to me that you know these things and can therefore manage your expectations, now that we’ve been seeing each other for the last couple of nine months. If you want a relationship, you might want to look elsewhere. But if you want all the expectations of a relationship without any of the perks, support, or general good vibes, then you’ve come to just the right place.
The most important thing to remember about all of this is that I’m the one who suffers the most. Sure, I might not text you regularly or reciprocate any level of emotional support and will certainly gaslight you into thinking all those things are unfair to ask for, but you should know that the person I’m really hurting at the end of the day…is me. Therefore, you are welcome to feel bad for me.
You should also know that I will seek other relationships to help me deal with all of this. It’s just the way it has to be.
Before you get mad or anything, you should know I’m being really vulnerable and open by telling you all of this. Honesty is the most important thing at the end of the day, right? So let me be 100 percent clear: I will let you down. And now that I’ve said that, you can’t be mad. Right, babe? Babe? You threatening to leave me over this is abuse, by the way.