Dove ‘Real Beauty Bottles’ Take Whitewashing to a Whole New Level With New Campaign

Dove has released a set of new “Real Body” bottles that come in a diverse array of shapes and sizes meant to imitate the diversity of real human bodies. Can you guess the one thing all these “Real Beauty” Bottles have in common? They’re all white.


That’s right. Dove’s so-called “body positive” plastic containers have taken whitewashing to a whole new level.


“At first I was really excited about the campaign,” says Monica Robertson. “I thought, ‘Finally, a bottle that looks just like me: Fat, white and full of lotion.’ But then I realized something very disheartening – Dove was not actually being as inclusive as I thought.”


Robertson returned the wide, big-breasted bottle she bought when she realized all seven of the Dove “Real Beauty Bottles” were white – pure white – and filled to the brim with creamier, even whiter lotion.


“It took away the enjoyment I felt at first seeing myself represented in the shape of a lotion bottle,” says Gabby Rodriguez, a longtime Dove customer. “I thought, At last, this is what representation looks like!”


“Screw Jane the Virgin and Eva Longoria – I need to see myself in my bottle of lotion or it doesn’t count,” said another disappointed long-time Dove customer. “So imagine my disappointment when Dove didn’t release a single person of color bottle of lotion.”



Rodriguez now refuses to shop Dove products, citing the crushing betrayal she felt at seeing their body-diverse, yet racially homogeneous lotion bottles.


“Is this some kind of racial purity thing?” says Rodriguez. “I feel like it must be. Otherwise how could they forget to include a single ethnic lotion bottle in their lotion body-bottle collection?”


“The lesson I’ve taken away from this whole publicity stunt is that lotion bottles can come in all different shapes and sizes, as long as they’re Caucasian lotion bottles,” says Robertson. “What a terrible message for everyone.”


The Dove offices were reached for contact but their voice mailboxes were full, presumably with complaints against their garbage white nationalist lotions.