Confident 15-Year-Old Brought Down a Peg by Neighborhood Mom

Hannah Toft, a sophomore at Millersville Prep High School, was recently brought down a peg by neighborhood mother, Shelby Waders. “She was just too confident,” Waders explained. “At that age, no girl should be that comfortable with herself.”


Waders cited Toft’s many friends of both genders, lack of age-appropriate acne, and insistence on maintaining eye contact when having a conversation with an adults as a valid reason to “put her in her place.”


Through vocal heckling and mild cyber-bullying, Waders was quick to remind Toft that she, “isn’t that attractive.”


“I mean, she’s got a lot of freckles,” Waders argued. “It really reminds you that she’s still just a kid.”



“She just hit a growth spurt, which I think upset a lot of people,” Waders added. “Plus she’s been doing all that work with the Rotary Club, which is kind of self-indulgent if you ask me.”


Waders is proud to have really have shown Toft what’s what at the latest PTA meeting, where Toft was trying to organize a parent-student volunteer day at the school.


“Everybody likes Hannah. She doesn’t care about being popular or anything,” said Toft’s lab partner, Megan Gree. “I actually really look up to her in a lot of ways.”


According to her mother, Mary Toft, Hannah went through intensive therapy when her father passed away two years ago. “Hannah was just so broken,” Ms. Toft explained. “Therapy really changed that. She’s just so happy and excited about the future.”


Waders noted in response that she really needs to “stop showing off” and playing the “dead dad card all over the place.”


Toft, who recently started a Gay/Straight Alliance branch at her school and is directing a run of Vagina Monologues this semester, responded, “Sorry. I’m just really, really sorry if I’ve offended anybody.”