Your quarterly review is the ideal time to talk assertively about what you bring to the company and how much you deserve to be rewarded for your hard work. Plus, it’s ten minutes of quality time with your boss, AKA the perfect opportunity to float some potential baby names by him for the children you hope to have very soon! Here’s how to remind your boss how much you’ve achieved in the past year without letting him forget that you have a grandfather-sized biological clock ticking inside you:
Olivia
You love Scandal, and no one has more defined clavicles than Olivia Pope! Maybe your baby girl would grow up to be a smart-talking, life-fixing hottie if you gave her this name. Ask your boss if he thinks it sounds too much like “Oliver” (too manly) or Olive (too oily). And don’t forget to request a raise—you deserve it!
Drake
Your 50-year-old boss might not know who Drake is, which makes him the perfect sounding board for this baby name. Drake is a strong, confident name, but can anyone other than the Degrassi star-turned-critically acclaimed rap artist pull it off? Ask your boss. Also, see if you can negotiate dental coverage.
Lisbon
This Portuguese city is meaningful to you because it’s where your beloved Great Uncle Bob was stationed during the Second World War, and also because you would totally have bangin’, baby-making sex there if you had the chance to visit (speaking of which, vacation days?). Has your boss ever been? Does he think it’s tacky to name a child after a place? And can you apply for the transfer to the San Francisco office next year?
Your Boss’s Name
Flattery will get you everywhere, so it’s worth telling your boss you’d like to name your child after him, even if that’s not strictly true. Would that be weird for him? Maybe he could even be your not-even-conceived baby’s godfather! And while you’re on the subject, find out what the deal is with maternity leave and at-desk breast pumping.
Pomegranate
You love fall, and so does your cousin’s friend whom you’d like to marry one day. What better celebration of the season of mellow fruitfulness, than to name your progeny after fall’s most complicated fruit! But does your boss think your offspring will be teased for this unusual name? And, if they are, will it ruin their lives or just make them stronger as a person?
You’ve singlehandedly doubled the company’s client portfolio and warmed up your ovaries this year, so make sure your boss hears about it—along with all the names you might call the baby you’re planning to have as soon as possible!
