Phoebe Lang, a PhD candidate in Computer Science and member of the Artificial Intelligence Lab at MIT, has achieved a true feat of AI: to give her vibrator a complete human personality. And that’s not all – the luxury dual-motor vibrator asked for her hand in marriage this week, and she said yes!
Some women really can have it all: a fruitful career, love, and an anthropomorphic partner with G-spot ticklers and 11 different speeds and patterns.
“It all started when my vibrator first passed the Turing test last year,” said Lang. “We were all freaking out, and it was a whirlwind of emotions and earth-shattering orgasms. One thing led to another, and now I’m planning the June wedding I always dreamt of and wrecking absolute havoc on my junk, also like I always dreamt of.”
Now that’ll be a story to tell the grandkids!
“We’re all really happy for Phoebe here in the lab,” remarked her thesis advisor, Dr. Matilda Blumenthal-Cruz. “She’s the smartest, most sexually active student I’ve had in years. They deserve each other and all the happiness in the world.”
According to her recently published paper, “Deep Learning and Even Deeper Penetration: I Made my Vibrator Talk,” Lang had to provide a dataset to train the personality model on, and she chose her own. That’s when the sparks began to fly.
“I’m so lucky to have found my soulmate, which is me, but waterproof, hot pink, and reverberating at a cool 90 Hz,” she jubilantly reported.
It hasn’t been all sunshine and simultaneous clitoral and vaginal orgasms, however.
“There have been some ups and downs, like any relationship,” Lang confessed. “I once used a silicon-based lube and slightly degraded its material,” she sighed. “But we got through it, together. I’ve never met someone so patient, compassionate, and able to make me forget my name within 45 seconds flat.”
Aww!
