Living in close quarters with roommates can be tough, but 26-year-old Kelly Selter puts in the extra effort to be respectful. In addition to buying new toilet paper and taking out the trash, she avoids distracting her roommates by making her sex noises sound like the clinking and clanking of an air conditioning unit.
“The last thing I want to do is make my roommates uncomfortable, and I know it can be weird to hear your roommate have sex,” Kelly explained. “So instead of saying the usual things like, ‘yeah’ or ‘I love this’, I only make noises that sound identical to our apartment’s AC unit.”
Wow, we can’t get over how sweet she is! And neither can her three roommates!
“Kelly is a really great to live with. She always does little chores around the house,” says roommate Anna Teefer. “And I never hear her when she’s in her room. I know she has sex but, maybe the walls are just thick!”
“I always forget Kelly lives here. The only thing I ever hear are loud gushing noises that I assume come from her AC unit,” said Leo Bolkir, another roommate. “A very loud AC, I don’t know how it doesn’t keep her up at night!”
Although no one asked her to change the noises she makes during sex, Kelly took it upon herself to spend weeks studying the noises she was attempting to recreate.
“Before I actually brought anyone home, I put in a few hours each day just listening to the AC go ‘shhhoooop’ and ‘grraaaaaa,’” Kelly recounted. “Every two minutes it changes from a ‘swiiiiiish’ to a ‘tra tra tra.’ Needless to say, I got it. Oh, I got it.”
While the change has been a huge win for the apartment, it’s been complicated for Kelly’s sex life.
“I’ve found most men to be receptive to the buzzing and humming,” shares Kelly. “But when I introduce the clinking and clanking…there’s been some pushback.”
But Kelly has made one thing clear: she will not risk her roommate’s mild discomfort so that she can have a run-of-the-mill sexual experience!
“I was raised to be super considerate so that’s why I say ‘beep shwaaaaa’ instead of ‘I’m coming,’” she explained. “Everyone else comes first, then me and my sex life.”
