During an office lunchroom conversation last Wednesday, 28-year-old Sasha Bertrand made a comment that left her coworkers aghast: With courageous and misinformed resolve, Bertrand plainly stated that she prefers cakey brownies to fudgy ones, even though that is absolutely the incorrect answer.
Bertrand and her peers were enjoying a platter of fudgy, dense brownies when she asserted her blatantly incorrect opinion.
“Yeah, these are okay,” Bertrand said, stunning the room into silence. “They’re a bit rich for me though. I guess I just prefer cakey brownies.”
Everyone unfortunate enough to hear Bertrand’s comments was unsure how to proceed.
“It was a little jarring to hear a wrong opinion made with the unwavering confidence of a right one,” said one coworker, Lisa Song.
“I expected her to follow up with an apology or at least some recognition that her words were insane,” continued Song. “But she couldn’t even grant me that. So I just said ‘hm, interesting’ and hoped she wouldn’t bring it up again.”
While Song chose the high road, not all of Bertrand’s colleagues were so lenient.
“What Sasha said really pissed me off,” said Allegra Sharpe. “If you say you don’t like fudgy brownies, what you’re really saying is you just don’t like brownies. And that’s fine, but don’t go making wild, disruptive claims, then be surprised when there are consequences. Go stuff a chocolate muffin in your face and let us live.”
Despite having already caused significant upset in her work environment, Bertrand continued to defend her patently false preference.
“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Bertrand said. “I just like the cakey ones more.”
In an effort to quell tension, Bertrand’s boss, Diana Levy, made a statement to the office.
“While it’s nothing short of amazing that Ms. Bertrand claims to favor the demonstrably inferior type of brownie,” said Levy, “Though I have tried, I cannot legally fire her on those grounds. We must learn to work beyond our differences, even when what’s right versus what’s wrong is very clear to the majority of us.”
Bertrand, for one, is determined to bridge the gap.
“I’ll just bring in my own brownie recipe and then they’ll see,” she said. “I’ll give you hint, there’s raisins in them!”