Millions of adults love the Harry Potter books, but recent bride Diana Lovett, took fandom to the next level by basing her entire wedding on the fictional wizarding world. Friends and family of the bride were not surprised by her unconventional choice because Diana is a “huge fucking nerd.”
Between the live owls swooping ahead, numerous mentions of a “Gryffindor,” and a wizard duel performed by the bride and groom, no part of the event was left untainted by the boy wizard. Even the rustic look of the centerpieces couldn’t hide the fact that they were completely composed of fictitious flying brooms and imaginary wizard sport paraphernalia.
Friends and family reportedly found the ceremony “a little sad,” “weird,” and “the exact kind of thing you’d come to expect from a couple of lame-ass nerds.”
“I am so embarrassed for them,” says Trina, Diana’s ‘Witch’ of Honor. “They are full-grown adults who are essentially making us all role play as make-believe wizards.”
When asked why she chose a theme so fucking nerdy, Diana smiled, “Just because I couldn’t marry Harry Potter doesn’t mean I shouldn’t feel like I’m marrying Harry Potter.”
“I never thought I’d see my daughter marry a man wearing a pointed hat,” says Diana’s father, John. “But then again, my daughter has always been a major dweeb, so I should have expected this.”
For the vows, the couple had planned on each selecting passage from the Harry Potter novels to read aloud, but they appeared to become so immersed in their readings that they simply couldn’t stop and ended up reading half of The Prisoner of Azkaban.
“I kept thinking they were going to stop reading, I mean, how long can vows be, right?” says Diana’s work friend, Carly. “But they just kept going, and going. Fucking geeks.”
The wedding came to a premature close in the early evening due to the announcement that there would be mandatory guest participation in a Quidditch match. Eventually, the few guests who remained gathered outside to watch the couple literally fly off into the sunset using an intricate pulley system and two decorative brooms.
“I love my friends and family, and couldn’t have asked for a more magical way to start my new life.” says the bride, “I’m such a Hufflepuff!”
