Oops, you did it again—you slept through your alarm! Last night’s bottle of couch wine seemed like a great idea at the time, but now you don’t have time to shower, wash your hair, work out, and poop before work…or do you? With a little work-smarter-not-harder multitasking, you’ll quickly see how working out and going to the bathroom can be an effortless combination! Here are eight quick ab-blasting, colon-friendly workouts you can do from the comfort of your own toilet.
1. The Garlic Press
Sit upright on the toilet at a 90-degree angle, like you normally do while gearing up for your standard morning pee. Once the waters begin to flow, slowly bend yourself forward until your hands touch the ground, then pull back up to a seated position. Do 3 sets of 15—until it’s a veritable flood down there!
2. Bicep Curls
Using two of your heaviest conditioner bottles, hold your arms down straight at your sides and curl up until the label touches your shoulder. Do 5 sets of 10, or until you’ve memorized the ingredients in Tresemmé Keratin Infusing formula. You are getting everything done!
3. Leg Lifts
In between dropping deuces, scoot all the way back on the toilet. Tense your abdomen and slowly lift your legs from the ground to mid-air hovering. Hold for a count of “number two” (ha ha!). Then, slowly lower your legs back down to your bathmat. Do 3 sets of 15, or however many it takes for you to know there’s no more in there.
4. Easy Pose
Incorporate a little yoga into your workout by pulling your legs onto the toilet and sitting crisscross applesauce style. It’s the early hours of the morning: You’ve had a green smoothie, a black coffee, and four stressful emails. This is your time. Let your body relax and remove all that does not aid you—namely, poop. Do for two minutes, or until your “third eye” finally opens.
5. Splish Splash
Lean as far back on your toilet as you can, raise your legs straight in front of you. Starting with your left leg, begin alternating leg rises to form a sort of “splashing water” motion, sort of like what’s happening right now under your body. Do 5 reps of 10, but remember not to strain!
6. Shirt On, Shirt Off
Lots of times, our body temperatures can fluctuate during a post-night-out morning BM. You don’t want to be chilly in the morning, but you also don’t want to sweat off the still-sorta-okay eyeliner from yesterday, since you don’t have time to reapply. Continuously put your shirt on and then take it off. Do 20 reps, or until you’re fully evacuated.
7. The Rocket
Lean back as far as you can on your toilet. Curl your knees into your chest and then shoot them forward. Hold legs out for a second, pull back into chest. Do 3 reps of 15. Blastoff—you shitted!
8. The Wipe Squat
All done? Time to wipe? Seated in a 90 degree angle, lift off from the toilet in a squat position. Wipe. Sit. Repeat. Do 3 sets of 15, or until the paper is white.
There you have it: eight doable, pooable ways to get in your morning workout. You’re killing it!!
