In a society that looks down upon the brazen vanity of a thirst trap, it can be hard to post revealing pictures on Instagram. Here is how you can maintain a façade of coyness while posting your whole ass on Instagram:
Put “hehe” in the captions.
A giggle communicates that you’re self-aware enough to have a sense of humor about this “posting your ass on Instagram” thing – so dumb, right? This caption will contrast with the boldness of the ass pic and allow you to evade any accusations of being thirsty in a desperate way.
Wear a cardigan!
Nothing says “coy” like a cable knit cardigan – directly above your entire naked ass. Even if it is 100 degrees outside, grab your favorite cardi and get to posing! The right chunky cardigan will make you look as intellectual as you are horny.
Draw attention to your pets.
Put those freeloaders to good use! Take a picture of them cuddled up next to you, as you conveniently lay in a way that displays the contours of your ass, or make a sentimental post on their birthday – just make sure your ass is still visible.
Use a Sylvia Plath quote.
This one will throw people off a bit. Use quotes like “I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am” or “Is there no way out of the mind?” Extra points if you pose with a copy of The Bell Jar while your ass is fully on display.
Use a mythical place as the geotag.
You can show off a bit of your nerdy side. Tag places like Hogwarts, Camp Half-blood, or Mordor, all while showing the world your bodacious booty!
Posting ass pics on Instagram is a complex and sacred artistic practice. Don’t let yourself be constrained by the Madonna-whore complex and use these tips to still be coy while posting an ass pic!
