Picking out a daily outfit can be the most stressful part of anyone’s morning. From packing the kids’ lunch boxes to tweezing stray nose hairs, picking out an outfit can easily fall to the bottom of your priorities list. There’s no accounting what you look like after you hastily throw on the first thing you see in your walk-in closet and later realize you look exactly like the Sears Tower. Here are some tips for you to step out into the concrete jungle without looking like it:
Choose Floral Patterns on your Human-Sized Clothes
Five out of 5 stylists agree that floral patterns are not associated with buildings. Luckily for you, florals look great in any silhouette! Whether it’s on a vintage shift dress, a girly cardigan, or a sexy bandeau bikini, you’ll never have trouble incorporating floral into your wardrobe as long as you are a person and not a building.
Wear Stilettos on your Feet, then Move Around
Hitting the town in stilettos will give you the lean look you crave without running the risk of being mistaken for a historical landmark. One of the few things that set women apart from buildings is that we have feet and are mobile. Buildings do not have feet and stay still.
Show Off Your Beautiful Human Legs
From A-line skirts to Daisy Duke shorts, showing off your legs is a great way to not look like a building because buildings don’t have legs. When wearing an outfit that flashes a little ankle, knee and thigh, your friends will want to talk to you instead of trying to walk through your revolving door.
Pick a Flattering Silhouette for your Living Body
Weather it’s a straight-leg jean, a bubble skirt, or a nipped-in swing dress, find a silhouette that works for your unique shape. Just avoid dresses with empire waists. The word “empire” is in the name, like the Empire State Building. While extremely unlikely, it is technically possible that someone might confuse an empire waist with the 102-story skyscraper that’s located in midtown Manhattan. Again, this is very, very unlikely if you have the real live body of a human person.
Leave Your Lightning Rod At Home
Although the aspect of safety is extremely tempting, it’s best to not wear a lightning rod. There are no other fashion alternatives for this look. Why would you want to wear one, anyway? You’re not a building, are you?
Hopefully these tips will help you to never be tagged as St. Peter’s Basilica (or any other building) on Facebook ever again.
