Who hasn’t let their Sapphic curiosity lead them to watch certain artistic lesbian films? And who wouldn’t rather drink tar than watch any girl-on-girl intimacy with their mom in the room? With the release of Carol—a clandestine 1950s love story between Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara, which, not knowing the full story, your mom just suggested you see together—let’s revisit the five steamiest lesbian sex scenes that has every girl saying, “I’m not watching anything, I was just flipping around!”
Mulholland Drive (2001) – Naomi Watts and Laura Harring
Is it hot in here, or is it just your mom fixing dinner down the hall? It’s both! David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive is a total classic “snap your laptop shut as soon as humanly possible” scene. Lynch excels at bringing a twisted eroticism out of his actors and his audience and interactions with your mom. Mulholland Drive somehow has everybody’s mom asking to borrow their laptop to double-check an Alton Brown recipe. The tension between Watts and Harring’s characters will have you so worked up, you can’t help but scream, “WAIT MOM JUST A SEC HOLD ON!” as you run out of the room to delete your Google Chrome history.
Blue Is the Warmest Color (2013) – Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos
This list wouldn’t be complete without this 2013 ode to gay French teens! Blue Is the Warmest Color gained a ton of buzz for its now-infamous lesbian sex scene. Clocking in at seven full minutes, this steamy love scene gives your mom PLENTY of time to wander in asking if you’ve seen her glasses, so mosey into the living room and sit down for a watch! You figure it’ll be over in a second, right? Wrong! Seven full minutes for mom to say, “Oh my,” cough uncomfortably, mention something about calling your aunt, then up and leave. This sensual, erotic exploration won Blue the Palme D’Or at Cannes. It also inspired your mom to repeatedly ask what your nice ex-boyfriend from high school is up to these days!
Black Swan (2010) – Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis
Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis—what more is there to say? Well, your mom has a lot to say: she’s surprised to see “That girl from Star Wars” receive EPIC cunnilingus from “that slutty teen from That ’70s Show.” She also thinks movies these days are “very weird” and was wondering if you were joining the family for dinner tonight? If not, no problem, but haven’t you already seen this movie, anyway? Why are you watching it again? It’s a little too much for her taste. Damn. There’s no dark, twisted sex scene more worthy of inspiring our mothers to go for a walk!
Cruel Intentions (1999) – Selma Blair and Sarah Michelle Gellar
Okay, this one isn’t technically a sex scene, but these luscious babes locking lips sure have your mom pop in the den to say, “Honey, do you need any dry cleaning done?” Cruel Intentions is hugely sexy top to bottom—your mom interrupting ANY scene would mortify you—but watching Gellar teach Blair how to kiss will have your mom about-facing faster than when they found a mouse nest in the attic. Better listen up for those footsteps heading down the hall, cuz she’s going to have a ton of leading questions after seeing you watch this.
Gia (1998) – Angelina Jolie and Elizabeth Mitchell
We could’ve sworn your mom was still at the supermarket during Jolie and Mitchell’s epic sex scene in 1998’s Gia, but we were wrong. These irresistible beauties go to town on each others’ immaculate bodies in a scene that’ll make you say, “WHO PUT THIS ON WERE YOU WATCHING THIS DID YOU KNOW THIS MOVIE PUT ANGELINA JOLIE ON THE MAP HAHAH IDK WHAT’S EVEN HAPPENING!!!” We’re getting sweaty just thinking about it! But Gia isn’t just the story of your ill-fated cover-up. It’s also about desperately pressing every button on the remote until the television stops working altogether. Talk about sparks flying—a first of many thank-yous, Angie!
There you have it—five scenes of sexual magic, and a million moms barging right in on it at the moment of peak lesbianism. These gorgeous films display the powerful sensuality of feminine sexuality, and remind us how horrifying watching them with our mothers would be. Happy Holidays!
