Time to up your accessory game! Wear these eye-catching necklaces that look great with any outfit, except the one you wear when you’re trying to suck a dick. Here are five necklaces that’ll have him saying, “Hey, can you take that thing off first? It’s heavy and it kind of hurts.”
Bhutan Bib Necklace (Anthropologie, $68)
This interesting Anthropologie necklace is perfect for when you want to look like the most well traveled woman in your accounting firm, and it can trap a dick in up to four places! Turn your sexy office romp into an afternoon of him whispering, “Do you mind untangling your necklace from my dick?”
Wild Waters Fringe Necklace (Free People, $58)
Perfect your summer festival look with this long and attention-grabbing statement necklace that says, “I can only express myself through five-pound necklaces that can hurt.” Your Bonnaroo Boo will find you irresistible until the fringes keep flapping on his dick until he loses his erection entirely. You’ll leave him wondering if it was the whiskey or your stunning fringe necklace!
Pendant with Pearl and Diamonds (Nordstrom, $695)
This simple yet elegant necklace is perfect for galas, weddings, and upscale dinners with your ex-boyfriend where you can finally breathe life into your strained relationship. This lightweight necklace is so light, you’ll forget you’re even wearing it before it gets caught in your hair and completely wrapped around his dick.
Square and Rope Necklace (Topshop, $30)
This striking necklace can dress up even the most casual outfit, and will gently graze your vegan lover’s dick as you go down on him behind the baseball field in the park next door. You’ll leave him wondering why your organic Cheez-it inspired necklace is gently tapping on his balls.
Gold Antler Collar Necklace (Neiman Marcus, $295)
This necklace is perfect for a rustic wedding, an Instagram photoshoot, or a haphazard blowjob in the woods on a group camping trip. Like all authentic woodland creatures, your sharp antlers will scrape against his dick until he just tells you to “…stop. Just stop.”
You can’t go wrong with any of these dazzling and head turning necklaces. These gorgeous necklaces look great on any stylish woman and get in the way so much when you’re trying to give a blowjob, he’ll never ask for one again!
