Online dating can raise a lot of questions. What kind of info are you supposed to put in your profile? What pictures should you choose to best represent yourself? Is any of this even worth it if the tumultuous political sphere and rapidly changing climate are quickly careening the world toward its inevitable end? Don’t worry! Here are four ways to upgrade your Tinder profile, even though this is all likely gonna be over any day now.
Upload some fun new pics.
Give your profile pictures a makeover! Have a friend take some updated pics of you looking your fiercest. This is a great way to make sure potential matches know that you’re hot right now, and not three years ago. But don’t try too, too hard. Because realistically, no one truly has time to be picky about their matches when the planet is going to be submerged in plastic-filled ocean water any minute. Don’t forget to smile!
Change your featured song!
Mix up your Tinder’s soundtrack! Pick a song that’s been stuck in your head, or cycle through a playlist of your favorites. The hits you choose to have on your profile are a cool way for your prospective boo thang to get to know a little more about you. And really, they’ll have to learn as much as they can as quickly as they can, because society as we know it is all but guaranteed to collapse, probably in the next year or so. Music makes the people come together – Beyoncé alone might also give us another six months or so!
Throw in a joke or two.
Worried about coming off too serious? Try adding something funny to lighten things up! Talk about your ironic love for One Direction, or put in how you voted for The Hamburglar in the 2016 election. Everyone loves a gal with a sense of humor, and it’ll do you both well when you’re snuggled together watching imminent nuclear war destroy everything you once knew and held dear. Laughter can solve a lot of problems!
Just put your boobs on there.
If worst comes to worst, just upload a picture of your tits. As the world as we know it crumbles to dust, exterminating all life and sending us barreling into an ice age of epic and disastrous proportions, at least you can rely on those. People love tits no matter how many of their loved ones died!
Using a dating app is tricky as it is. But, with these four handy tips, you’ll be able to upgrade your profile to quickly meet someone special to spend your final days on this mortal coil with. Happy hunting!
