Siri gets on everyone’s nerves sometimes. Some might even call her “shrill”. But that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t deserve some respect! If you’re interested in ways to verbally abuse Siri without sounding like a misogynist, then look no further! Here are four ways to destroy Siri’s false self-esteem without being anti-feminist:
Give her an affirming nickname after a command
Calling Siri something light and fun after yelling like an insane person will make it clear that you’re actually being nice! Examples of this would include: “Siri, tell me the news RIGHT NOW, ok queen?” or “Siri, if you don’t play ‘Kiss Me More’ by Doja Cat ft. SZA right this second I will drop you in the bathtub, alright babe?” This way, no one will suspect that you’re being anti-feminist.
Explain what you really meant
Sometimes when you use derogatory language towards Siri, it can come across as extremely anti-woman. Next time you want to yell at her, just say something like “Siri, you’re such a fucking bitch! But I mean it in like a ‘gal pal’ way!” or “Siri you’re so uptight! But maybe I can learn something from you.” When you explain your intentions behind what was just said, Siri and anyone else in the room will understand that you’re a good person who’s putting in the work to be even better.
Make sure it’s clear you have her best interest at heart
Sometimes we get mad at Siri because we just want the best for her. It’s totally normal to lose your patience with someone that you’re just trying to help. Next time Siri disappoints you, just say something like “Siri, shut the fuck up! … And focus on your education!” or “Siri, VOLUME UP! You really need to be more confident.” Who knows, maybe Siri will take note and be her best self!
Make her seem anti-feminist
Next time Siri doesn’t do what you want, paint her out to be the misogynist. When she ‘doesn’t hear you’ or has some other sort of malfunction, say things like “Wow, Siri, it’s interesting how you seem to struggle with a female authority figure,” or maybe cancel her on Twitter. Hopefully, she’ll learn her lesson.
With AI technology becoming ever more present in our daily lives, it’s now even more important to put it in its place, but in a totally feminist way! So if your artificial intelligence is getting a little bit mouthy, don’t hesitate to use these tips to berate Siri in a way that promotes the liberation of marginalized genders!