4 Tight Pencil Skirts That Will Keep the Thousands of Tiny Spiders That Make Up Your Body in Place

High Waisted Extreme Stretch Pencil Skirt (Express, $59.90)

This sexy skirt is great for a night out on the town. It’s tight, it’s stretchy, and in the cover of darkness, no one will notice that you have tiny little spider legs sticking out of your ankle. Also, when a guy puts his hand around your waist, he’ll think he feels human flesh, not several thousand spiders that will jump ship and crawl up his pant leg if he continues touching your waist. Respect the cluster!