In these challenging political times, there are so few things you can control. Luckily, a spotless home is one of them! Here are some of the most powerful household cleaners that will wash away the worst grime, but won’t get rid of the massive swastika some recently emboldened white supremacists just spray-painted on your garage door.
Lysol Breeze
This citrus scented all-purpose cleaner always brightens up your kitchen with a clean sparkle, but will do absolutely nothing for your garage door that’s been marred with a symbol of hate. As you frantically scrub, your knuckles scraping against the wood panels of the garage door, you’ll curse this once-reliable cleaner for only barely smearing the black ink. Should you move neighborhoods, or is this just kind of “how it is” now? This fresh-scented cleaner won’t help you answer that.
Mr. Clean Magic Eraser
It’s true what people say: a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser really can do the impossible! From scuffs on walls to dirt on your bright white sneakers, the Magic Eraser has never let you down. That is, until now, as the eraser disintegrates from the pressure of being ground into the garage door. You live in a gated fucking community; who did this? Is this spray paint? It’s at least begun to fade the smaller words of “JEW” and “TRUMP 2016” but that’s not enough. Your kids get home from school in forty minutes and they can’t see this.
Clorox Clean-Up Cleaner and Bleach
You barely ever have to use this intense bleach cleaner, except maybe once a year to make your bathtub look like new. They say you only need a little, but right now you’re just pouring the cleaner down your garage door. The swastika looks a little lighter, but it’s still unmistakable. You called the police. Where are they? Can anyone fucking protect you? You keep thinking about how your grandparents escaped the Holocaust because they had a friend in the United States. But you’re currently in the United States and this cleaning product hasn’t fixed fucking anything.
HDX Cleaning Vinegar
You hate the smell of vinegar, but what are you supposed to do at this point? It looks strong, so maybe it will work. You can’t help but feel like whoever did this is watching you try to clean this massive fucking swastika off your garage door, which is making it hard to really put any elbow grease into it. Cleaning vinegar is a natural, all-purpose cleaner that won’t do shit to solve this hate crime, so maybe just put the garage door up and let your neighbors see your shitty garage mess and go inside and cry in your shower until your kids come home.
Next time someone vandalizes your home—and there very likely will be a next time—grab one of these and remember that not every stain can be wiped away that easily.
